Worth It
by Panda-Chan95
Summary: Shizuo actually managed to get his hands on the flea, although the outcome isn't exactly expected. WARNING BoyXBoy, Shizaya, fluffy angst and all that good stuff. This is only my second Shizaya fic, so be kind and R&R yes? xoxo


**Panda-Chan: **I know I know~ I should be working on _For all of Eternity_, and I am! This little thing just popped into my head and I _had_ to write it! Hope this is enjoyable =3 No lemons, but it does have angst =D and fluff haha Oh how I do love le angst! Love you all~ xoxo 3

X*x*x

Okay, so he'll admit that it was his own, very rare occurring, stupidity that got him into this mess, though he'll never; repeat _never_, say it out loud as he tried his damn best to keep his smirk in place while looking into angry, golden eyes. He could feel the rough brick of the alley wall against his back, even through the material of both his fur trimmed coat and V-neck shirt. Shizuo held him firmly, one hand on his throat and the other wrapped around the slender wrist that had tried to attack with the flick blade that had soon been stolen and thrown away randomly.

"So what now, Shizu-Chan?" Izaya tried his best at a teasing tone, though it didn't have as much affect in his current position, "You gonna kill me? Torture me? Or just stand there glaring at me?" Shizuo grit his teeth, tightening his hold in the ravens' neck hard enough that the infuriating smirk fell and barely choked back gasp was heard. Nothing was said for a moment, and Izaya couldn't help but look back on how he wound up here in the first place.

Izaya Orihara, the best and smartest information broker in Ikebukuro, had let his guard down. He'd just finished a long, and very boring, meeting with Shiki and his men and had taken a small break in the back of a dark, deserted alleyway. He had taken the short time to dwell on the few unimportant things that had been playing on his mind lately. Unfortunately, in his thoughtful state, he hadn't noticed the blonde bodyguard slinking closer, apparently choosing that moment to try a change of tactic for once.  
So, there they were. Shizuo pinning the informant to alley wall.

"…You're not even worth it…" The whispered words caused Izaya's eye to go wide as the hand around his neck loosened. "You're not worth the time… You're just a pathetic little flea that really should be crushed. Funny thing is, I don't think I wanna be the one to crush you anymore. As much as I hate your guts, I'm not gonna sink so low as to end your pathetic life." The blonde released his grip on the smaller man, stepping back and turning towards the mouth of the alleyway. "Y'know, you're really not worth anyone's time. No-one should get in trouble for killing you." He turned his head to smirk at the frozen informant, "I'd say you should just go take your own life, but I don't think your over grown pride would let you. Maybe we'll get lucky and a train just happens to find you." And then he walked away, leaving Izaya standing against the wall with wide eyes and frozen body. It wasn't long before his trembling knees gave out and he dropped to the ground.

How… _How_ had Shizuo managed to pin point the thing that he didn't try to think too much about? He knew that, with everything that he'd done in his life, he was far from worthy of having his life ended by anyone. There were so many people who could kill him, and he would openly admit that; because no matter how fast he was or how skilled he was with a blade, nothing could go against a gun… And plenty of people had guns. There were so many people with so many opportunities to kill the informant, but none of them took it… Because none of them considering him worth the trouble… Even the lowly thugs were worth more…

"Damn it…" Izaya sighed, standing to his feet slowly and forcing himself to walk.

He avoided the busiest streets of both Ikebukuro and Shinjuku until he was at his apartment building. And, as he unlocked his door and trudged into his home, there was one thing running through his mind. One thing that Shizuo had said to him earlier.

"_I'd say you should take your own life."_

Maybe he was right…

"_You should take your own life."_

If no-on else wanted to go through the trouble of doing it…

"_Take your own life."_

Then maybe Izaya should do it for them…

He could use his blade to slice open an artery, but that would mean a big mess and, let's face it, he couldn't take his precious flick blade to himself.

He could hang himself, but he doubted he would knowingly put himself through that pain, and he'd more than likely back out.

Poison. Perfect! He had just the right thing for that. It would make it seem as though he were simply drowsy, sending him into deep sleep that was impossible to wake up from. He wouldn't mind that sort of death… It would be slow, but very painless.

So, with all that in mind, he moved over to his desk. He reached into the top draw, where he kept the little bottle. He used this poison on people who were trouble for him, slipping it into their drink so that it would seem as though they'd simply fallen asleep at the wheel while driving home from the informants building.

Shinra had made him this little poison, after much persuasive nagging on the ravens' part. He decided that he should perhaps thank the underground doctor, as he hadn't the day he got it.

So, after downing the entire bottle of clear liquid, he grabbed his cell phone and dialed the number of the four eyed man's phone.

"_Hello?" _Shinra's voice was cheerful, as usual.

"Ah, hello there Shinra." Izaya smiled, flopping down onto the couch and lying out on his back.

"_Izaya! What's up?" _ Shinra questioned on the other end, seemingly to notice the slight change in the info brokers' voice.

"Oh… Not much… I was just wanting to thank you for that wonderful little concoction you made for me a while back…" Izaya said, already feeling the effects of drinking so much of that poison.

"_Uh… Well, you're welcome I guess…" _There was a short pause, _"Izaya, are you okay?"_

"Yeah I'm… Fine…" Izaya lied, his vision going blurry as he stared up at his ceiling.

"_You don't sound find. What happened?" _Shinra was sounding a little worried now.

"This stuff is really good… It actually feels like I'm tired…" Izaya hadn't meant to say it out loud, but his thoughts were heard none the less.

"_Wait…What? You didn't drink it did you? Izaya, tell me you didn't drink that poison!"_ Shinra was sounding as if he had begun pacing.

"…I'm sorry… I didn't leave any for you to run tests on… I know you wanted me to leave a little… for you…" Izaya's eye lids were feeling heavier, but he fought to keep them open so he could at least finish his conversation with the doctor.

"_Izaya why would you do something so stupid! That stuff I beyond deadly and- Hey where are you going?" _Shinra had pulled the phone away from his mouth as he shouted the question to whoever was there with him, but Izaya heard it… And he also heard the loud slam of a door in the back ground. _"Izaya, you have to stay awake! Do NOT fall asleep okay? Just keep listening to me."_

"…Okay, I listen to you…" And he did. He listened to the doctor talk on and on, sometimes switching to random subjects as he just wanted to keep Izaya's attention.

Shinra was in the middle of a sentence about an unknown topic when the informant quietly interrupted him.

"I'm sorry… Shinra… I can't keep my eyes open anymore… I think I'll just…" Izaya's voice died as his arm fell to the side, the phone dropping to the carpet while still giving off the sounds of Shinra's pleading shouts.

Crimson eyes began to fall shut, just barely managing to catch the sight of the front door literally flying across the room.

X*x*x

Shizuo hadn't known what to do when he left the flea in that alleyway. He let his feet do the thinking as his mind was preoccupied with replaying everything that he'd said to Izaya.

Before he knew it, he was in Shinra's apartment, sitting on the couch and talking to Celty about it all. He let out thing he didn't even know was on his mind, and, with some help from the headless woman, soon came to the conclusion that he felt _bad_ about what he'd said. It was around that time that Shinra got the phone call.

Shizuo had listened intently to Shinra's side of the conversation when he'd heard the fleas' name. Both he and Celty froze up when they heard the doctor's frantic words about poison and the fact that Izaya had consumed it. Without thinking, Shizuo had stood up and ran out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

He ran faster than he ever thought he could, not stopping until he was at Izaya's door, where he proceeded to kick it in. He stormed in, his eyes instantly falling on the figure on the couch.

"Damn it! You weren't supposed to actually do it!" He growled, moving to kneel beside the flea. He noticed the phone on the ground, Shinra's voice still able to be heard. He grabbed it, holding it to his ear and interrupting the frantic doctor. "I'm bringing him over. Set up whatever you need to save him." He hung up without waiting for a reply, dropping the phone and shifting his arms under the informant to carrying him bridle style.

He moved as fast as he possibly could back to Shinra's, ignoring the odd looks he received on the way. He took every short cut he knew until he was back in the doctor's apartment, following Shinra's orders and placing the unconscious man in single bed in one of the spare rooms.

"Don't let him die!" That was the last thing he could yell at the brunette before the door was closed, locking both Shizuo and Celty out as Shinra worked on saving Izaya.

X*x*x

Everything was… Black… The world around him was now nothing but an empty, black void. The only really color that stood out was the red in his eyes as they looked around, trying to find something, _anything_, to look at. He knew it wasn't dark, because when he held his hand out, he could see it as clear as day… But still… Everything around him was black. He was alone in that world, not even bothering to call out, for he knew that he wouldn't receive a reply.

"_That's not true. I'm here."_ That voice startled Izaya, causing him to jump and spin around, trying to find its source.

"Where are you? _Who_ are you?" He asked, sounding almost relieved that there was someone there, in the black void with him.

"_Turn around."_ Izaya did as he was told, spinning around and freezing at the sight before him.

Crimson stared into crimson as the informant gaped at who stood before him. It was… _Himself_. Izaya stared at an almost identical image of himself. The only change being the red that replaced the white on the fur trim of his jacket.

"_No need to stare, Izaya."_ The look-a-like said, though Izaya didn't move or take his eyes from him.

"Who are you?" He repeated the earlier question, though his voice was much quieter.

"_I suppose you could say I'm you." _The other said, staring right back into the informants' wide eyes.

"Where am I?"

"_This is the place where you g when neither Heaven nor Hell will except you."_

"So… I'm not even worth Hell?"

"_Seems to be that way." _

"Do I have to stay here forever…?" The question bought a low chuckle from the look-a-like.

"_No, of course not. You're not going to stay dead for much longer." _

"Why not? I thought that once you die, you stay dead."

"_That's true, unless there's someone who's working to bring you back." _

"That makes sense and all, but I highly doubt anyone would go to the trouble of keeping me alive…"

"_Oh but they are! As smart as you are, you can be an idiot sometimes."_

"…And how can I be an idiot?"

"_Not everybody hates your guts, you know. It's just lucky you called one of those few people who actually like you."_

"Shinra? But how would he be able to bring me back if he was all the way in Ikebukuro?"

"_There was someone with him~ Remember that slamming door you heard? Well, that was someone coming to your rescue."_

"Who? Celty? I wouldn't have thought she'd be will to go out of her way to save me."

"_You'd be surprised, Izaya. As I said, not everybody hates you as much as you think. But no, it wasn't Celty. This person has a head, and a very interesting ability." _Interesting ability…? Who did Izaya know that had an interesting ability? Not many people really… Celty had already been ruled out, and there was no way in hell that Anri girl would want to save him… So… That only really left one person…

"Shizu-Chan…?"

"_Bingo! Our dear Shizu-Chan ran all that way from Shinra's to save his precious little flea~" _

"But… Why would he…? He hates-"

"_Don't you ever listen? What'd I just tell you about people and hating you? You're an informant, Izaya. You can pick up any detail around you and find out whatever you want to know. You can read people like a book, know their feelings before they even know themselves. So why, _why_, is it so hard for you to know when people actually _care_ about you?" _Izaya was dumbfounded. Was this look-a-like talking about Shizuo? No-way could Shizuo Heiwajima care about him!

"Shizu-Chan has been trying to kill me for so many years. He does not care about me."

"_That's where you're wrong, Izaya. Do you remember that day in high school? When you skipped class and sat out on the roof?" _A silent nod was the answer, _"Well, while you were up there, Shizu-Chan had seen you. Of course, he was gonna kill you, but something made him stop." _A smile spread across the look-a-likes face, _"I don't been know why it happened, but did you notice that his aim was slowly getting more and more inaccurate as time went on? And how he'd always make sure to have your attention before throwing something at you? He may not have even realized it, being the protozoan that he is, but he cares for you." _Izaya couldn't utter a word. Of course he remembered that day, he'd fallen asleep on one of the seats up on that roof. That must have been the moment Shizuo caught him.

"Then… Then why did he say that…?"

"_Why don't you ask him?"_ Izaya blinked in confusion, opening his mouth to ask how he was supposed to do that, but the other became blurry, fading out of sight as Izaya's eye fell shut. His body swayed, unable to keep upright any longer as he fell back, expecting to come in contact with the hard, black floor. However, landed on something soft and bouncy, his body being covered in something warm and his head being cradled on something comfortably sinking.

Opening his eyes slowly, he blinked up at the white roof above him, slowly realizing that he was in an invitingly comfortable bed. He looked around, his eyes immediately falling on the blonde that at, asleep, in a chair by his side. The early morning sun was beaming through window, sending rays of golden to wash over the sleeping blonde.

Izaya sat up, the blanket pooling down around him to show that he was shirtless, white bandages wrapped around his middle. Shinra must have done some operation to get the poison out of him and somehow revive him.

The thought that the doctor had gone to all that trouble, just for him, bought uncharacteristic tears to the informant's eyes. He hadn't noticed them until they'd slid down his cheeks to fall in droplets onto the bed sheets below. He began to think about the blonde as well. He'd ran all the way to Shinjuku, just to save the informant. That fact bought on more tears, Izaya's heart twisting inside his chest in a way that he'd never felt before.

Without warning, Shizuo began to stir, lifting his head and rubbing his sleep filled eyes. His gaze moved to the informant, eyes going wide when he saw that he was awake, and staring right back to him with watery crimson eyes.

"Iza-Whoa!" As Shizuo began to speak, Izaya had lunged from the bed rather unexpectedly, wrapping his arms around his neck and knocking the blonde from his chair, causing them both to fall to the ground with Izaya on top of Shizuo, his legs either side of his waist and his face buried into the crook of his neck.

Shizuo blinked down at the clinging raven, watching how his shoulders shook and listening to the barely there sobs the escaped the informant.

"Izaya… You're crying…?" He asked quietly, a sniffle being his only reply. With a small sigh, Shizuo bought a hand up to gently run his fingers through the raven's hair.

"Sh-Shizuo…" Izaya sobbed out, clinging to the blonde tighter. Of course, the lack of the frustrating nickname didn't go unnoticed by Shizuo, and although it was nice to hear his real name spoken by the informant, he didn't like how it was said. Izaya wasn't supposed to say his name in that pained, defeated voice. Shizuo wanted him to say it in a voice that held nothing but happiness, warmth and love.

Yes, Shizuo had finally come to terms with the fact that he held the raven dear to him. He'd realized it the moment he held him in his arms as he was dying. He'd thought about it every moment during the four days that the informant was unconscious, and the more he thought, the more he found himself caring; the more he found himself _loving_.

"I take it all back…" He muttered, his other arm around coming to wrap around the still crying man's waist, "Everything I said in the alley… I didn't mean any of it…"

"But it was all true," Izaya sobbed, "I'm not worth anything…" At that, Shizuo took his hand from the smaller man's hair, taking hold of his chin and tilting his head so he could see that tear stained face.

"That's a complete load of crap," He stated quietly, "You're worth… You're worth so much more then you could ever think…"

Fresh tears began to pour from Izaya's eyes, tears that Shizuo decided he would like to erase. He leaned forward, pressing his lips ever so gently to the informants before trailing those feather light kisses over the wet cheeks, kissing away the tears even though they were replaced with fresh, salty droplets.

Izaya's eyes had fallen shut, his tears fading to be replaced with a small smile and a cute little blush. He rested his head onto the blondes shoulder, letting a content sigh escape his lips. He didn't know why he felt so comfortable in the man's arms, so _safe_, but he decided to just enjoy the warmth that seemed to radiate from the ex-bartender. He felt fingers in his hair again, playing absent-mindedly with his raven strands.

"Hey, Izaya?" Shizuo questioned, receiving a soft hum in acknowledgment, "I think we should stop fighting…" He tightened his hold around the slim waist ever so slightly.

"…What'll we do if we're not fighting…?" The raven asked quietly, keeping his head where it lay.

"Well, we could… I don't know… Go out, or… something." Shizuo mumbled a little sheepishly. Izaya found himself smiling happily, moving his head to look at the man below him.

"I think… I'd like that," He said softly, "But wouldn't your 'tough guy' reputation become a little deflated if you were seen with me?" He tilted his head in question as Shizuo let out a low chuckle.

"I don't care about whatever reputation I have," The blonde cupped his face gently in one hand, giving a small kiss on those pale lips that he let linger for a short moment, before he pulled back the smallest bit, whispering against them, "You're worth it."


End file.
